Can I Keep Her? Can I? Please?

I have allergies.

Allergies to dust.

Allergies to mold.

Allergies to trees.

Allergies to "bug dust." (That's what my allergist calls the detritus in old buildings made up of decomposed roaches and other bugs.)

And most of all, allergies to all things with fur or feather.

A pet is not in the near future of my children. Ain't happenin'. Well, maybe a fish?

Growing up we always had a dog. But our dogs, Tiffy and Tiffy 2, were never allowed in my bedroom. If she came into my room first thing in the morning, I was a wreck for the rest of the day.

That's not to say I'm not an animal lover. Once in college my boyfriend and I took bags of dog and cat food to the Humane Society at Christmastime. Somehow I walked out of there with a cowlicked guinea pig named Herbert, whom I called Herbie.

I loved that guinea pig. He had quite sophisticated tastes, snubbing his nose at ordinary lettuce and preferring something a little more gourmet. And like most piggies, would squeal for a snack when he heard the fridge door open in the other room. Whee, whee, wheee!

That was the last pet I had. He got sick in 1996 and that was that. Since then, a coworker brought in her pig and surprisingly, my eyes swelled up and so did my sinuses. A fortuitously scheduled visit to the allergist for testing the next day confirmed my allergy to those as well. And it still begs to question how I was able to live with Herbie for several years.

So now my daughter, like most children her age, wants a pet. She tells random strangers with pets who she meets on the street that she would love a dog, but alas, her mommy is allergic (said with a sad face).

Her grand scheme? She has it all worked out. She is going to bring Ruby's (her grandmother's dog) food to our house. Since Ruby needs to eat, grandma will have to bring her here to her food. And then we'll just have to keep her.

Well thought out, but sorry kid, it ain't happening.

Maybe we'll get a fish one day. Maybe. I haven't heard of anyone being allergic to fish.

(And don't tell me that there are breeds that are less allergy-provoking. I know. But really, a pet is just too much work right now.)

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